Study of Bible Prophecy should be a continually edifying & uplifting experience, as each believer becomes more aware of the reality of the Blessed Hope. Sadly it can also cause those who are weak in the faith to have concerns or worries, even depression. Particularly for the benefit of any visitors who are in need of a lift & remembering that: "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...", (Proverbs 17:22), we include a brief selection of jokes...enjoy!
Jesus is watching you!
A burglar got into a house one night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice saying, "Jesus is watching you." He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables. He again heard, "Jesus is watching you." This time, he shone his light all over, and it rested on a parrot. He asked, "Did you say that?" The parrot admitted that it had. "I'm just trying to warn you, that's all." The burglar said, "Warn me, huh? Who are you? What's your name?" "Moses." "Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot 'Moses'?" The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'."
On the same theme...
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop....Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized). The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer handcuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All she did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture?", replied the burglar. "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!".
Let There Be Light!
How many 'Christians' does it take to change a light bulb?
- Charismatics: Only one, since their hands are always in the air anyway.
- Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on. And off.
- Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
- Catholics: None. They always use candles.
- Episcopalians: Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.
- Church of Christ: None. There was no evidence in the New Testament that light bulbs were ever changed.
- Baptists: CHANGE?!?
A camper walking deep in the woods suddenly notices that he is being followed by a large grizzly bear! He starts to run away but the bear begins to chase him. Realizing the bear is quickly closing in, the man offers up an emergency prayer: "Oh God, I know you have influenced animals in the Bible like Balaam's donkey, if there is any way that this bear can become more like a Christian, I would really appreciate it." As the final "amen" is said, the bear pounces on the man and pins him to the ground. But suddenly, the expression on the bear's face changes from that of anger to contentment, and the bear looks heavenward and places his paws reverently together, and starts to speak audibly just like Balaam's donkey, saying, "For this food we are about to receive, we give thanks."
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching an elderly lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of illuminated numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful young lady stepped out.
The father said to his son, "Quick! Go get your Mother."
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business! The CEO, walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about his first cleansing of a slacker, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker was doing here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Delivering pizza."
Scriptures to encourage us that God laughs & likewise we should to...
Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed,saying, Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure. Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion. I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me,Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee. Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.Psalms 2:1-9
He shall deliver thee in six troubles: yea, in seven there shall no evil touch thee. In famine he shall redeem thee from death: and in war from the power of the sword. Thou shalt be hid from the scourge of the tongue: neither shalt thou be afraid of destruction when it cometh. At destruction and famine thou shalt laugh: neither shalt thou be afraid of the beasts of the earth For thou shalt be in league with the stones of the field: and the beasts of the field shall be at peace with thee.Job 5:19-23
Which said unto God, Depart from us: and what can the Almighty do for them? Yet he filled their houses with good things: but the counsel of the wicked is far from me. The righteous see it, and are glad: and the innocent laugh them to scorn.Job 22:17-19
But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth. The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.Psalms 37:11-13
God shall likewise destroy thee for ever, he shall take thee away, and pluck thee out of thy dwelling place, and root thee out of the land of the living. Selah. The righteous also shall see, and fear, and shall laugh at him: Lo, this is the man that made not God his strength;but trusted in the abundance of his riches, and strengthened himself in his wickedness. But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God: I trust in the mercy of God for ever and ever. I will praise thee for ever, because thou hast done it: and I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints.Psalms 52:5-9
Thou therefore, O LORD God of hosts,the God of Israel, awake to visit all the heathen: be not merciful to any wicked transgressors. Selah. They return at evening: they make a noise like a dog, and go round about the city. Behold, they belch out with their mouth: swords are in their lips: for who, say they, doth hear? But thou, O LORD, shalt laugh at them; thou shalt have all the heathen in derision. Because of his strength will I wait upon thee: for God is my defence.Psalms59:5-9
To every thing there is a season, and a time to, every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born,and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war,and a time of peace.Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh.Luke 6.21
Page Title: 'Laughter Zone'
Page URL: http://www.blessedhope.ws/laugh.html
Page Updated: 9thJuly2020
Author/Webmaster: Leslie C.Gaston
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